|Someone posted this earlier today. Apt?|
I have been troubled by something recently. I follow my friends on Facebook and many of my age are ‘settling down’: they’re buying houses, moving in with girlfriends/boyfriends ... some are having kids.
Let me say at the outset, I don’t think there is anything wrong with settling down; I’d probably do it too if it was an option. But at the moment I rent a house, spend my time dreaming of ‘what I want to be’, and go out often, whether it’s a ‘school night’ or otherwise. Basically, I live like a student. Which is no bad thing – I’m not unhappy with my life – I just wonder how long I can keep doing it. I’m not blessed with Dorian Gray-esque eternal youth, after all.
Maybe it’s to do with relative life-age. I said to a friend the other day that I didn’t really start living until my late twenties and, if we assume most people start doing what I do in their late teens, then I guess that makes me the equivalent of about ... 23? (I think mostly I’m worried about my appearance: I’m young at heart, but not in body. If I really was 23, everything would be fine!)
There are of course people I know, both younger and older than me, living as I am. And it’s these people I get closer to, while my other friends have faded into a hazy blur at the edges of my life where they presumably snuggle up on the sofa of a weekend in front of TV shows/DVDs.
In the end though, I think comparing ourselves to others never really gets us anywhere. There will always be some better off than us; there will always be some worse. All we can do is live the life we have. I can do nothing about growing older, but I can stay young in my mind. I want to have a fun life, laugh often (and make others laugh too!), love passionately and deeply, smile secretly at the memories, and reach old age having lived.
And the important thing anyway is to be happy with who we are and what we’re doing, no matter how ‘old’ we are. That’s something everyone can aspire to, whether on your couch, or in a random bar, dancing to some ridiculous pop song from yester-year at 2am.
For now at least, I’ll probably see you there...