I think there are things we do that we feel are inherently ‘us’. For me, it’s things like creating music, or writing stories.
Sometimes, I don’t do these things for a while; I might be busy or, more likely, become distracted by games/movies/whatever and so don’t do those things that make me feel like myself.
It can actually make me feel low, without me necessarily realising why I’m low. Then, suddenly, one day I’ll switch on my PC, open up Cubase, and work on my album. And I start to remember a part of myself; it’s like a reawakening of something inside me, and it spills over to the rest of my life – my relationships, my work. I feel like I’ve remembered who I am, why I’m here, what I want to be/do in my life, and things sort of click back into place a little. It’s almost like a reset button.
Without doing what I’m ‘built’ to do, I’m less than me.* There’s a part of me that’s restless, dissatisfied, unfulfilled.
I don’t create music because it’s my job, or because it could make me money, or because I might get recognition and affirmation for it. I make music because I enjoy the process and get a real kick out of having created something from scratch that would never have existed if it wasn’t for me. Something from inside me is now out there, apart from me. I’ve said before it must be, to a small extent, how a parent feels about their new born baby.
I firmly believe, as human beings, we’re all creative, as I’ve mentioned before in this blog. I think a key to being ‘well’, or being the best we can be, is finding out what it is we can create, and doing it with everything we can give.
I think it’s the best way of being truly ‘ourselves’.
*Whether or not we believe we’re designed, I still feel we each have innate qualities and talents that make us who we are.