Thursday, 24 May 2012

Being who we want to be.

Me some amount of time ago
before all 'this'.

A couple of years ago I decided to make it my aim that everywhere I go, each relationship I have, any connection I make, every moment I’m around would be better, simply because I’m there.  (It’s the ‘ambition to change the world, one moment at a time’ at the top right up there!)

I don’t mean it egotistically – I don’t think, Right, I’m here, so everything’s obviously great now! I just mean I want to be a breath of fresh air, to help people, or give them something to smile about.  Whether it’s a witticism, or a song I might play, or buying them a drink, or giving them a hug...or just being around when they need someone.   Sometimes it’s just about being available.

There’s a song I really like at the moment which contains the line: ‘I like to be the light that’s missing and remind you every minute of the future isn’t written...not yet’ –  I love that line, and I shared this song with someone today, quoting it in particular.

They replied: ‘Those words stood out to me – sounds like something you would write.’

I don’t think they realise how much of a compliment that was to me.  Not because they think I could write as well as Mr Mraz (if only!), but because for them to believe I might have written it means they recognise the quality in me – of trying to ‘be the light that’s missing’ in people’s lives.  I felt I must be succeeding in my aim.

Here's the song: 

Often it’s a challenge – I don’t always feel like being the light; some days I feel like curling up in a corner crying!  And on those days, I occasionally wonder who is there for me.  But I try not to think like that too much, because it’s outside of what I’m aiming to do.  And besides, I do have some great friends who often have to listen to me going on about whatever is troubling me!

The point is, I decided I wanted to be like this, and so started acting like it.  At first it didn’t come naturally, but I think that’s true of many things we do in life.  And now, according to one person at least, it seems it has become ‘me’, and I am delighted about that.

If we want to be something, whether it’s an optimist, more outgoing, more confident, a better listener ... whatever, then the best thing to do is to start acting like it.  Eventually, with practice that thing starts to become who we really are.  And it's worth it.

So, how do we be who we want to be?  We just ... be it.


  1. Very well said. And I love what you are setting out to do. Sometimes we may not get back what we give but by being the best person you can be you tend to get the best of people back. And just knowing you have made a positive effect in their life is enough. When I meet someone really kind and giving it reminds me there are more good people than bad. Something I need to be reminded of often! On those days you feel lonely, if you reach out to people I bet you are surprised as to who is there for you, and maybe not who you expect :)

  2. Thanks Nina. :) I have a small pool of people I reach out to (regularly...). I'm extremely privileged to have some incredible friends; I hope that paragraph didn't come across as a moan!

    The world is full of good people, yep. It's just that the bad ones are often more vocal/noticeable, sadly.

    Hope you're doing well anyway :)

  3. What a beautiful post. You put into words the way I'm trying to be.

  4. Thanks! Really kind of you to say! :)