Sunday, 1 April 2012

The problem of needing a day-job.

It’s Sunday evening, that traditional time for feeling depressed about the impending Monday morning.  When such feelings roll around (and they’re sadly not confined to Sunday evenings...), I wish all the more I could make my living from writing. 

It’s hard pursuing such a career in my spare time because I want some ‘down’ time too.  I want to socialise, I want to watch movies, play music, have fun, but, if I do, certain feelings nag away at me: my writing isn’t getting done; I’m not even half way through my novel; I haven’t submitted anything anywhere in a long while.  Not to mention the ‘feeling tired’ after a day’s paid-work

So I end up feeling guilty and miserable about the lack of progress.

Then there’s the knowledge I’ll never meet anyone – be they friends or otherwise – if I don’t get out and do something, but socialising on a Friday night leaves me yet more tired, inducing yet more guilt – not only did I lose Friday as writing-time, I lost Saturday too. 

It all leaves me feeling very frustrated that I can’t get up tomorrow, do a good 7-8 hours writing work, and then have time to meet people/play my guitar/crash in front of a DVD/whatever.

The privileged few who are paid fiction writers are my chief source of envy at the moment.  And knowing that they’re a ‘privileged few’ doesn’t exactly help either: even if I sacrifice my social life etc for a year to complete my novel, the chances are it still won’t get me what I want.

I guess all there is to do is keep plugging away, keep tapping away at this keyboard as best I can, whenever I can.  Like a marathon runner: focus too much on the twenty-odd miles left, and you’ll not have the strength for the next yard.  The only way to finish is one step – one word, one sentence – at a time. 

So here I go...plodding on. 

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