Saturday, 25 June 2011

Ghost-busting and fire-fighting: dealing with the past.

Sometimes the past creeps up on us, taking us by surprise with something we maybe thought we’d forgotten about. It could be a painful memory, or a relationship we thought we were ‘over’ but discover we’re not really.

It could knock us down for a while, if we let it.

The past can also shape our future, as we react to things differently because of previous experience. We see it all the time – for example, if a child touches something hot once, they’re unlikely to do it again! (Not that I’m advocating allowing a kid to play with fire!)

This kind of thing happens to me sometimes – I get so hurt by something that the temptation is to close myself off, stop taking risks, play life safe so as to prevent further hurt and upset.

But, there are ways to ‘play with fire’ that can be amazing – enjoyable for everyone and, with the right training, perfectly safe. I’ve seen many fantastic fireworks’ displays, for example!

And so, I want to get, and apply, the right training so I can take ‘risks’, in love, in life, in creating my future, without having to fear periods of full-on brokenness and unbearable negative emotion as I have in the past.

I’m not there yet, and some things jump out of the proverbial cupboard to haunt me, taking all my reserves and ‘training’ so far for me to remain on a relatively level emotion plain. Such a thing happened just in the last couple of days, prompting this blog post.

But the good news is that I am, at least, 
ok. I got up in the morning, focussed on some of the many positive things going on in my life, made progress on a couple of my projects and, whilst I still feel a little 'shaky'  suddenly life seems less scary, the future more hopeful.

Here’s one of my favourite songs (although, technically he doesn’t ‘sing’ the lyrics) about this subject from Money Can’t Buy Music , a project by the frontman of one of my favourite bands, Ballboy:

 Don’t let ghosts of the past ruin the rest of life. After all, ghosts are already dead and, if we survived them when they were ‘alive’, surely we can deal with their pale reflection in our minds…

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