Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Caught up in the moment.

Following on from my last post, I’ve also started thinking recently about how I use my time, I suppose building on the idea of experiencing each moment, and then wondering, ‘How best can I use this moment’? 

When I think back on days, or weeks, or even months, I know that I waste so much time it’s unreal.  There are so many things I want to achieve, or that I want to be, yet many of the activities I spend hours on
get me nowhere nearer to doing or being any of those things.

I want to be a writer, I want to be a good friend, and I’d love to be someone who people think of as cultured and intelligent (harhar).  I keep playing at writing a novel, and there are many books I want to read; I’d love to spend more time in quality conversation with friends, and meeting and making new ones, or just generally being the person I want to be or dream that I am.

But the reality is, in spite of all these ambitions, I often spend whole Saturday mornings sleeping through till lunchtime, or afternoons and evenings watching movies I’ve seen before, or  naff TV shows, or trying to get Kidderminster Harriers to the top of the Premier League on Football Manager (though, admittedly, I would really love to achieve that last one!).

I guess, in some way, I’m talking about prioritising: I’m trying to carve out more time for the things I really want to do with my life, so that when I next look back on a day, week, month or year, I can feel satisfied and proud of my achievements, instead of never reaching my goals, dreams or ambitions.

Ask yourself: what do I want to achieve?  Who is the person I want to be?  What can I do, right now, to take even just a small step towards it?  And if you don’t know what you want to be or achieve, perhaps that’s the first answer: to find out what it is that you really want to do – think big, try things, try anything, until you find something that sets your heart on fire.  Then do whatever you can to be or do that thing.

I no longer want to look back on a day and regret spending a morning hung-over and unable to work, or an afternoon fruitlessly trying to get pixel-based footballers to bend to my will.  I want to make the most of the time I have, before I end up 40 years old still having not done the things I hope to in my life.

I know that I will probably not succeed in many of my dreams – for example, it's highly unlikely I will ever become a bestselling novelist.  But one thing is for sure: I definitely won’t if I don’t try.

Right, I’m off to buy a new striker…

1 comment:

  1. Nice blog post Martin, and always a good challenge, although I'm often fighting the other side of this challenge... as someone who tends to seize life by the throat, I don't get enough rest/chill out time doing some daft stuff... It's about trying to get the right balance, eh.. and who knows who you'll end up talking to in your conversations around footballers...