Sunday, 21 April 2013

Finding good role models: thoughts from a train following a best friend's wedding.

I had the privilege of witnessing one of my longest-serving, and best, friends get married yesterday. I sat in the reception and listened to various people comment on the excellent qualities of my friend, knowing that it was an accurate representation of this man I've known for my whole life.

As I sat there I couldn't help wondering what people might say about me should I get married again. And I felt a sense of shame: I doubt my references would be as glowing. At least, not if they were to be accurate.

'When I look at myself I don't see the man I wanted to be; somewhere down the line I slipped off track. One step up and two steps back.' - Bruce Springsteen, 'One Step Up'

But the man I saw yesterday, my friend, is still very much in my life, and we both expressed a strong desire to try and recapture some of the closeness that, as so often seems to happen as life goes on, has somehow been lost, just through the passage of time and that all-powerful force: 'stuff'.

In my friend I see a true 'man', and an excellent role model. Someone who I want to emulate, not necessarily in outward accomplishments or actions, but in strength of character, in loyalty of friendship, and in a personification of love. And I don't apologise for sounding overly sentimental.

Congratulations, mate. May your marriage be life-long and full of joy. I'm glad I have the opportunity to continue to be friends with, and learn from, you.

1 comment:

  1. The right people will remember the right things about you. I would say good things about. Love is the most powerful kind of -- power -- for lack of a better word, and you certainly love with strength.

    Who you wanted to be may not be who people need. The people your life need the best you, but it may not be the same vision you have of who that 'best you' is.

    Be good to yourself first, and then good to those around you. That is the way to grow, love more, and become a better person.

    I have had these same feelings at weddings of friends. I have thought, "I wish I were as pure and good a bride as she is" ... But who is to say what makes us pure and good? Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, perhaps purity and goodness are too.

    x the other M