It's not just the American Police that needs to change...

When I was at school, I was often bullied and picked on. Usually, it was because I was too skinny; too 'goofy' (tooth-wise); or didn't have the 'right' clothes, shoes, or haircut. I remember it vividly and the mental-scars remain to this day.

I'm fortunate, though: it was never because of my skin colour, so I don't know what that feels like.

My Upper School was quite segregated, with social groups formed largely around skin colour. I remember the 6th Form Common Room had an archway in the middle, splitting it in two. One side, quite organically, became the 'white' side, and the other was the 'black' or 'Asian' side. Looking back, it was a pretty horrible thing to happen.

As I progressed at that school, my friendship group changed. I became friends with the so-called 'Asians'. (The fact that most of them were probably born in England was lost on us back then.) I think fondly of the times spent with them over the years that followed: five-a-side football and table tennis in the sports centre; doing crossword puzzles or playing chess in the library; drinking coffee in the canteen while discussing video games. Normal things, really.

This group of friends was nicer to me than any group had been previously. I didn't share their skin colour/faith/cultural-heritage, but it didn't matter.

I remember clearly a conversation I had with one of my former white-'friends' (who had also been one of those who picked on me often). He approached me one break-time as I went to the vending machine.

'Why are you hanging out with the Asians?' he said.

I looked at him, slightly puzzled. It seemed obvious to me.

'Because they're my friends!' I said. (I'm proud of my younger-self for that response!)

It saddens me that we live in a world where racist ideas and thoughts are still so pervasive. Almost an entire year group of white people seemed to be growing up with the opinion that race made a difference to someone's value as a person. I don't know where most of them are now, or what their thoughts are. I can only hope they have matured into kinder people, but it's not hard for me to believe that any 'white' population might, largely, have racist beliefs underneath.

Racism is everywhere. It's constant in the unconscious (or not-so-unconscious in many cases) bias that all of us (including me) carry as a result of our culture and upbringing. There's no point denying it: it's there. But, if we recognise it in ourselves, we can challenge it, choose to act or think a different way, and change those biases for good.

We don't live in anything like a fair world: I can walk around with my white wife, without even having to think about what people might think of two people of our 'race' being together. A black or 'Asian' man with a white partner probably wouldn't have that privilege. And that's just one example straight off the top of my head.

The other day, I described the police as people who are supposed to be our 'protectors'. I'm not sure that would be the first word that came to mind for many black people, even before George Floyd's murder.

Yet, it's not just the American Police that needs to change. We all do. Let's start now.

#BlackLivesMatter

You or I can't change the world (but maybe WE can...)

If everyone looks after the corner of the
world they're in...

Most of my views on things boil down to one thing: ‘it’s nicer’. I look at the world and wonder when (and why) people started thinking it was better to build walls, create borders, and become so protectionist.

Personally, I think it’s always nicer to help people (refugees or immigrants, for example, or the sick, elderly, or lonely.)

I cycle to work these days and see a lot of what I will call 'bad character'. It seems people show their worst side when they’re at the wheel of a car: selfish, me-first attitudes. ‘You’re in my way,’ or, ‘My journey is more important than yours.’ (I’m not blameless myself, of course, and I absolutely love cruising back past the particularly impatient drivers when they’re later stuck in traffic!)

It makes me sad to see how many people seem to care so little about other people.

On those cycle journeys, when I start to feel particularly down about it, I try and remember it’s not my job, nor would it be possible if it were, for me, or any other person on their own, to fix the whole world. It’s too great a task and too many people aren’t interested.

All we can do is look after the little corner we’re in to the best of our ability. 

Frank Turner released a new album recently: Be More Kind. Ignoring the grammatical problems with the title (‘Be Kinder’ wouldn’t have been a good rhyme, after all), I think the sentiment sums it up perfectly. No matter how kind we already are – a little or a lot – we can still be more kind.

Be more kind, my friends...

The more people who do that, through small deeds, positive words, or little changes, the more the world might just shift as a whole.

The unimportance of liking oranges (or not).

Today, I read this article in the Independent about Vicky Beeching, a prominent Christian singer/songwriter for churches.

Firstly, this isn’t a post about religion. This is a post about how we live and how we act towards others. (Some might say that’s what religion is supposed to be about…)

I can’t understand how people claiming to be ‘Christians’ can treat a person, such as Vicky Beeching, in this manner. To claim someone is ill, or possessed, just because they are gay is like persecuting someone for liking oranges. It’s nonsense.

Everyone is different. We all have different talents, likes and dislikes, and we all have different struggles to face in life. Some have health issues, others abusive parents, or financial difficulties; life is hard enough. Why make it more difficult for anyone? *

Instead, let’s focus on and celebrate the things we can do to improve the world: creating, caring, encouraging, looking after the environment, to list only a few, all hopefully with some good fun and humour along the way. 

Do your best, live well, and help (or at least let!) those around you do the same. I think the world would be a better place if we lived like this.

(And I think Jesus would agree.)

*Just to clarify: I’m not saying that being gay is a difficulty in life to be overcome like those listed (although, sadly, it seems it is such a difficulty in some circles). I’m saying that, regardless of anyone’s likes, dislikes, talents, beliefs – or indeed sexuality – there are enough problems to deal with in life without making things harder.

Stress relief: is there a 'quick fix'?

Sometimes this may be
your best option...
(in moderation, of course.)

I suffer with stress at the moment – everyone does sometimes.  I also suffer with Depression, and I’ve had my fair share of heart-breaks, loneliness and anxiety.

Recently, I heard somebody recommending ‘Rescue Remedies’ as a cure for stress.  Later that same week, I saw a stand in Boots pharmacy, stocking different varieties of the product.  Both of these events made me angry.

A few years ago, a friend of mine took part in the 10:23 campaign.  A prominent employee of Boots had openly admitted there was no evidence that homeopathic treatments were effective and yet, Boots, a trusted pharmacy, continued to sell them.  (If you’re unsure what homeopathy is, the 10:23 page has a good overview.)

The 10:23 campaign aimed to prove the fallacy of homeopathy through organising a mass overdose of homeopathic products.   The event proved the point: my friend took 30 times the recommended dose, and suffered no effects, positive or negative.

‘Rescue Remedies’ are a form of homeopathy known as ‘Bach Flower Remedies’.  If you read the label, it clearly states that the ‘medicine’ is a severe dilution of the ‘active ingredient’.   In reality, all that is left in the bottle is brandy.  (I’ll give them credit there: at least it’s not just water, as in many cases.  And I suppose a stiff-drink can sometimes help stress.)

These products are a placebo.  Nothing more. 

The reason they make me angry is because people believe they work, and so part with their cash for them (and they’re not cheap!), making someone very rich for ... nothing. 

A placebo may work – yes.  The brain is remarkable and the psychological impact of taking something you believe to work cannot be underestimated.  But many of the illnesses – such as Depression, for example – supposedly helped by homeopathy have genuine medical treatments, which are both effective and offer the same ‘placebo’ benefit of a...err...placebo.  And, the more money that is spent on ‘researching’, producing and stocking the placebos, the less there is for developing real treatments.

I wish there was a miracle cure for loneliness, anxiety, stress or the ‘Monday morning blues’ (seriously, it’s on their website!).  But there isn’t. 

There are, however, products that can genuinely assist with well-being – and I’m not just talking about prescription drugs.  For example, did you know black tea, bananas and omega 3 have all been linked with reducing stress?  (One of those three links contains several other stress-relieving foods!)

Please stop wasting your money on products such as Rescue Remedies.  If you’re taking anything branded as an ‘alternative medicine’, at least find out what it is and how it’s made first.

As Tim Minchin says in his song, Storm: ‘Do you know what they call "alternative medicine" that's been proved to work? ...

Medicine.’ 

(B)ethical.

I love Converse but, unless I can
get assurances on their ethics,
I may have to give them up.

I came across an article yesterday about a clothing brand and its ethics.

The article was of particular interest to me as, last weekend, I was challenged about the clothes I buy and how they are made.  I was made aware (again) of the terrible pay and conditions many workers endure in places like China, Indonesia and Cambodia in order to produce the clothes I get from the High Street.

As a result, I've decided to try and buy more ethical clothing.  The trouble is, I don’t have a lot of money to buy clothes with and most ‘Fair-Trade’ labels are out of my price range.  This leaves me with foraging in charity shops, which I don’t mind but, as I am an exceptionally tall man, I can rarely find my size.

So, I took to the internet.  Because that’s what we do these days when we have a problem.

Searching for ethical clothing brands, I did find some, although many didn’t cater to my size (particular in the footwear department) or, more often, taste.  But then I came across the article I mentioned.  It appeared in the Guardian in April, and you can read it here.

I realise the article is a few months old, but it was the first I’d heard about H&M’s plans to be more ethical.  The article points out H&M can’t really claim to be that ethical, but it also notes it’s a step in the right direction. 

And, reading H&M’s own website, it does seem as though they are trying.  Which brings me to my point:

If H&M are positioning themselves as an ethical choice, and they start to do well, won’t other retailers begin to follow suit?  (No pun intended.) 

If the ball starts rolling in this direction, and it’s what consumers want (displayed by them voting with their wallets), slowly we might see High Street fashion becoming more ethical, in the same way the coffee industry is so much better these days as a result of Fair-Trade products being a) readily available and b) chosen.

I know it’s not a perfect solution: In an ideal world, everyone would earn a fair wage, under fair conditions, immediately.  But, sadly, it’s not a perfect world and these things take time.

It’s a small step on a long road but, for someone like me who can’t afford to buy expensive Fair-Trade brands, it’s better than nothing.  So, for now, I’ll be visiting H&M more often*.

And, the more people who make a commitment to being ethical, who take the time even just to think about this as an issue, and be more deliberate about the stores they buy things from, the faster we might see big, positive changes in this industry.

You in?

*If anyone can direct me to articles on why I shouldn’t shop at H&M (perhaps their ethical practice codes are in fact a sham?), or any affordable ethical clothing stores, I’d be grateful.