Normally in life, when I have a problem, I talk to all my
friends and family about it and end up with lots of voices in my head (theirs,
rather than ones relating to any sort of insanity – I learned to tune those out
years ago, after that second murder...) each giving me advice on what I should
do.
I don’t mind that; I like knowing what other people think I
ought to do (if only because it provides food for my innate desire to do the
opposite of what people say). The downside
is that sometimes it’s hard to know what to do because there are so many pieces
of advice floating around. It can get a
bit confusing.
Recently I’ve had a bit of space from my usual confidants
for one reason and another and it’s been interesting. I’ve found my own ‘voice’ in my mind is
clearer and I can better understand what I
want, how I feel, what I think I should do. It’s been affirming to realise the course of
action I’ve taken/am taking is the one I think
is right.
I’m not about to change my usual way of dealing with things,
and will no doubt be chewing my friends’ ears off again in the near
future. But sometimes we can get so
caught up in what everyone else thinks, in the way other people believe we
should live our lives, that we forget what it means to be ‘us’. It’s easy to think other people know better
how to live – a symptom of low self-esteem if ever there was one – and to try
and emulate, or even please, them. But
who says they’re right?
Someone I know on Facebook posted the picture I’ve included
on this post yesterday and it really struck me.
More than anyone else in my life, I
am the one who makes me feel inferior, or ‘worthless’. And I suspect I’m not the only one.
But we’re not worthless.
No one else is ‘better’ than us at living this life; we’re all just
making it up as we go along. And whilst
it’s good to take advice and listen to trusted people, it’s just that –
advice. Our own choices/feelings/beliefs
are equally valid.
And sometimes it’s those we need to trust.
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